Today, we're diving deep into how we teach others to treat us. The truth is, we hold the power. We determine our boundaries, set our standards, and show others how we expect to be treated. Yet, so often, we feel like the world is imposing expectations on us, leaving us powerless. But it's actually the other way around!

We are responsible for setting the tone in our relationships, deciding what we will and won’t tolerate. People treat us according to the signals we send them. If we accept mistreatment, they continue the behavior. If we hold firm in our self-worth, they either rise to meet us or exit our lives. It all starts with us.

Why Boundaries Matter

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” But let’s be real—unhealthy people will treat you based on how they see themselves. If they lack self-respect, they won’t automatically respect you. That’s why boundaries exist. Boundaries aren’t about controlling others; they’re about controlling what you allow in your space.

When two healthy individuals interact, they don’t need boundaries—they naturally respect each other’s space, emotions, and needs. But when toxicity, manipulation, or unhealthy patterns show up, boundaries become essential. They protect your energy and create space for you to thrive.

The Butterfly Principle: Breaking Free from the Cocoon

Many of us grew up in environments that taught us to stay small. Maybe your family culture was about surviving, not thriving. Maybe you were raised to believe that putting yourself first was selfish or that stepping into your power was dangerous. But here’s the deal—staying in the cocoon isn’t your destiny.

Imagine a butterfly. It starts as a caterpillar, completely unaware of its future potential. Then comes the cocoon—a time of struggle, transformation, and preparation. And finally, the moment arrives when it must break free. If a butterfly stays in its cocoon too long, it will never fly. The same goes for you.

Breaking free from limiting beliefs, toxic relationships, and self-imposed constraints is the only way to grow into who you were meant to be.

Recognizing Your Cocoon

Ask yourself:

• Where am I feeling stuck in life?
• Which relationships make me feel small, controlled, or drained?
• Do I constantly seek approval from others at my own expense?
• Am I afraid to step into my power because of how others might react?

If any of these resonate, you might be stuck in a cocoon of old beliefs and conditioning. But the good news? You have wings—you just have to use them!

How to Teach People How to Treat You

1. Decide What You Will and Won’t Accept
   If something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Your discomfort is a message that something needs to change.
   
2. Set Boundaries with Clarity and Confidence
   Boundaries aren’t about making demands. They’re about clearly stating your needs. Example: “I’m happy to help, but I need at least 24 hours’ notice.” Simple, direct, and non-negotiable.
   
3. Stop Over-Explaining
   You don’t need to justify your choices. “No” is a complete sentence. Confidence in your decisions teaches others to respect them.
   
4. Surround Yourself with People Who Uplift You
   If someone consistently drains your energy, consider creating space. You deserve relationships that nourish and support you.
   
5. Lead by Example
   If you want respect, show respect—to yourself and others. If you want kindness, be kind. If you want honesty, be honest. The way you treat yourself sets the bar for how others treat you.

You Are Not Responsible for Others' Reactions

This is a tough one. When you start enforcing boundaries and stepping into your power, some people will not like it. And that’s okay. People who benefited from your lack of boundaries might push back, guilt-trip you, or try to pull you back into the cocoon. But remember—that’s their problem, not yours.

Your only job is to honor your growth.

Embrace the Butterfly Within

A butterfly never questions whether it should fly. It just does. And you, my friend, were born to fly. You weren’t meant to stay small, hide your light, or live for others’ expectations.

The moment you embrace your worth, let go of limiting beliefs, and step into your power, you will inspire others to do the same. And those who can’t handle your growth? Let them stay in the cocoon. That’s their journey, not yours.

So, are you ready to fly? Are you ready to stop seeking permission and start teaching people how to treat you by how you treat yourself?

Then let’s go.

Want More?

If this resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. For more guidance, coaching, and resources, visit teresaford.life and step into the life you were meant to live!

Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧

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