Blog Post #43
Ending Negative Patterns
These are the patterns that stop us from moving forward in life and hold us back from becoming the version of ourselves we genuinely desire to be.
The Impact of Negative Patterns
We all have them—patterns that show up in different areas of our lives. Whether it's struggling with relationships, finances, or self-acceptance, negative patterns often manifest in ways that keep us stuck.
Have you ever felt like you’re trapped in a roundabout, making the same mistakes over and over again? You want change, but no matter how hard you try, you end up stuck in the same old cycles. I’ve been there too, and that’s why I’m passionate about helping you break free from those patterns and start living the life you deserve.
Where Do These Patterns Come From?
To break the cycle, we need to understand the origins of these negative patterns. Thoughts are the root of these behaviors. And not just any thoughts—the ones that lack truth.
Negative patterns are often built on false beliefs, the ones you developed as a child before you had the tools to process them properly.
Think about your early life: before the age of seven, you were like a sponge, soaking up everything around you. Your parents, for better or worse, passed down their beliefs, their habits of thought. Perhaps your parents struggled financially, or perhaps there was tension in the household that made you feel unsafe or anxious.
Whatever it was, you internalized those patterns as truth, and they became the foundation for your behavior as you grew up.
The Power of Beliefs
Your thoughts lead to beliefs, and those beliefs, in turn, influence your behavior. If you’ve been operating on beliefs that don’t serve you, it’s time to go back and challenge those beliefs. What beliefs are you holding onto that aren’t true anymore?
Take money, for example. If you grew up in an environment where money was scarce, you might have internalized the belief that money is the root of all problems or that you must struggle to earn it. But is that really true? Is that belief helping you or hurting you?
The Role of the Nervous System
When these negative beliefs trigger your nervous system, you respond in one of four ways: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. These are trauma responses that go into overdrive when we feel unsafe or unsupported.
For example, when you're faced with a stressful situation, you might want to fight and argue, or you might want to flee and avoid confrontation. If you’re in freeze mode, you may shut down entirely, unable to respond to any stimuli. Or maybe, like many of us, you go into fawn mode—people-pleasing and morphing yourself to make others happy, but leaving yourself behind.
These responses are deeply ingrained in your nervous system and manifest as patterns in your behavior. But when you change your thoughts, you can change how your nervous system responds, which then changes the actions you take.
Breaking the Pattern: Change Your Thoughts
To break these negative patterns, we need to change our thoughts. It starts with recognizing the thoughts that aren’t serving us and then changing the meaning we assign to them. For example, if you believe that “you have to work hard to make money,” ask yourself: Is that belief true? If you’ve seen people work hard and still struggle financially, then that belief isn’t serving you.
The Power of Assigning New Meaning
The meaning you assign to your thoughts shapes your beliefs and behavior. Let’s take money again as an example. If you grew up in an environment where money was a source of stress and tension, you may have internalized the idea that money equals stress. But money itself isn’t the problem—the meaning you assign to it is. You can choose to reframe your beliefs around money. Money can be a tool for freedom, creativity, and service, not just a source of anxiety.
The Healing Process
Healing happens when you identify and change the meanings attached to your thoughts. When you change those meanings, you’re able to shift your behavior and stop acting out of fear or scarcity. You can rewrite your story and create new, positive patterns that align with your true self.
Practical Steps to Break Negative Patterns
- Identify Your Patterns: Start by recognizing where you're stuck. Look at areas of your life that feel like they're on repeat—relationships, finances, self-worth. What patterns do you notice?
- Examine the Root Beliefs: Ask yourself,
Where did these beliefs come from? Did you inherit them from your childhood, or did you develop them from past experiences?
- Challenge the Beliefs: Question the validity of your beliefs. Are they still serving you? Are they based on truth, or are they fear-based?
- Reframe Your Thoughts: Once you’ve identified the limiting beliefs, reframe them. For example, if you think “I’m always going to struggle with money,” change that thought to “I am worthy of financial abundance, and money flows easily to me.”
- Take Action: Start acting in alignment with your new beliefs. Show up as the person who has already broken free from these patterns. Act with confidence, courage, and love.
Letting Go of Old Patterns
It’s time to let go of those old, limiting patterns that have been dragging you down. Your new patterns are rooted in love and truth, not fear or scarcity. When you change the meaning of your thoughts, your behaviors change, and your nervous system will respond accordingly, helping you break free from the cycle.
Final Thoughts
You have the power to change your patterns. It starts with changing your thoughts. Recognize the beliefs that no longer serve you, reframe them with truth, and watch as your life transforms. You are not stuck in your past—you are creating your future with every thought, belief, and action you take.
If you’re struggling to break free from old patterns, I’m here to help. Schedule a call with me, and let’s work together to release those old patterns and start living the life you truly desire.
Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧
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